Airing it out

RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) – [A human resources director] wanted to get away from the war in Iran and rising gas prices and just commune with nature … so she treated herself to a little forest-bathing [at the JC Raulston Arboretum.] Based on the Japanese wellness practice of Shinrin-yoku, the activity (quiet time in the forest) has been known to reduce stress, improve mood, lower blood pressure and boost the immune system.

historyoasis.com – Benjamin Franklin famously practiced “air baths,” which he believed had health benefits. (He) would stand or sit naked in a private room with the windows wide open … (focusing) on contemplative activities while allowing the air to interact with his skin.

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    “Uncle Ben?”

“Yes.”

    “Um … what are you doing?”

“Why, taking an air bath, boy.”

    “Right in front of an open window?”

“What better spot for maximum circulation?”

    “But … why?”

“Helps relieve the stress. All that yammering at Independence Hall, you know? It can really do a number on you.

    “What do you mean?”

“Well … take Jefferson, for instance. Seems to need constant editing on that Declaration thing of his. And that Trump fellow from New York … Jesus. It’s exasperating. Insists on putting HIS name on the new Continental Currency. Sets my bowels to churning just thinking about it. Hand me that bottle of laudanum, will you? Say … why don’t you pull up a chair and join me?”

    “Uh, thanks, but I sunburn easily.”

“Yeah, I get it. Got some susceptible spots of my own.”

    “Holy cow. Is that lady waving at you?”

“Oh. That’s just the widow Pultney. Owns the pewter shop. You can actually set your watch by her. Saunters by here every afternoon at three.”

    “Um, I don’t mean to be impertinent, Uncle Ben, but … when exactly did you say you take your daily dip in nothing?”

“Three o’clock.  (pauses and looks down again at the widow, who now is peering through opera glasses)  Oh. I see what you mean.

    “Yeah. And I’m guessing she does, too.”

“Well, you know what Poor Richard says.”

    “What.”

“A successful business woman always takes the long view.”

    “You just made that up …”

“Yup. And it’s going in the Gazette on Saturday.”

    “Honestly. I don’t know how you get away with it.”

“It’s basically doctor’s orders, son. A calming air bath turns out to be not only a delightful natural stress reliever, but – as demonstrated by the pulchritudinous widow Pultney – an effective social lubricant, as well.

    “And …”

“And you don’t even have to dry yourself. Now, open those curtains a little bit more if you don’t mind.”